Jul 27th 2003 at 03:23:49 PM
lisa bonnell
England
went on to a eating disorders web site
i am 23 now with a 1 year old son .i had a very bad eating disorder, my lowest was 3 stone 13 pounds. I still get times when i get scared to eat. it's nice to hear from such a lot of people with it.
Jul 23rd 2003 at 05:29:41 PM
EDDIE
PENNSYLVANIA
ME
I MISS YOU SO SO MUCH. I HAVE A VERY HARD TIME STAYING STRONG, MY MIND IS ALWAYS A MESS, MOST SAY I'M NOT THE SAME PERSON, WHICH I KNOW I'M NOT AND NEVER WILL BE. LOVE YOU LITTLE SISTER.
Jul 23rd 2003 at 11:04:06 AM
Dad
Dear Button: 31 years ago today at 10:35 AM you brought so much joy and happiness to everyone by being born. Words can not express the deep pain and sorrow we all have from you dieing so early in life. I only hope others who visit your clouds realize just how deadly anorexia - bulimia really is and not let it kill them or someone they love as it killed you. Knowing the day will come when I can once again hold you in my arms, Love & Miss you Deeply, Dad
Jul 18th 2003 at 03:07:24 PM
Cheyenne
Canada
Via the Anorexic Web
God Bless Shanda
I have been suffering from Anorexia and
Bulimia for about 3-4 years now and I don't know what to do. This site is a lot of help. Very positive in getting across the message that this disease can and does kill.
Keep up the good work and I hope to be able to visit the site more often now.
Jul 13th 2003 at 05:18:55 AM
Ashley
Michigan
I was watching Dr. Phil, and I saw this girl on an "Anorexic Web" site. So i looked for it and i found a link to this site.
I'm 16 and i have been trying to overcome anorexia/bulimia for the past two years. It seems like
every time it goes away, it comes back 5 times worse than it was before. I know I'm
really hurting my mom because she doesn't know what to do. I act very angry when someone questions me on my strange eating habits (I.E. Fasting for ten days at a time and eating nothing during that period). Even though I react angrily when someone tries to talk to me about it, i just want to scream "HELP ME", yet i continue to deny that there is anything wrong with me. I know that there is something terribly wrong.
i used to weigh 235lbs at the age of 12 and 13. I started making myself sick to lose weight, but as i dropped pounds and sizes, i kept telling myself "Just one more size. Just ten more pounds."
I am now 5'9" and i weigh 128 pounds. I look fat to myself, but i keep saying "Don't be stupid.
There is no possible way you can be fat when everyone else is telling you you're way too thin." Even so, i can't stop. It's like i thrive on this vicious cycle. Some days, i can feel my body begging for nourishment, but i don't respond. My doctor said that my urine shows that my body is breaking down its
proteins, and if i don't stop this i will have to go to In-Patient Care (Or something). I'm very
frightened, but i don't know what to do. I don't even know how i let it go this far. I feel like
I'm trapped. My mom is now aware of my eating disorder and is monitoring my food intake and watching me for two hours after i eat (Doctor's orders). What they don't realize is: in doing this, it makes me angry and i just want to hurt myself even more. I've tried for two years to give this eating disorder up by myself and i have failed because every time it comes back,
I become more attached to it. I really don't know how to make it stop. And worse,
I'm not sure i want to give it up yet. It's like a part of me, and without it, i would feel like a part of me is missing.
Jul 11th 2003 at 01:47:21 AM
Julie
Naperville, Illinois
a bad web site
I want to thank the creators of this web site and to say how sorry I am for your loss. Because of this site and alot of things that have been building up I am asking my therapist for a referral to a long term treatment center for my anorexia. I have it for 25+ years I am 34 years old and I want to say thank you Julie
Jul 5th 2003 at 08:16:49 AM
Dad
Dear Button: Four years ago today you left us. Though you may not be with me physically, you are always in my thoughts. One day we will be together and I will once again be able to hug you. Love and Miss you Deeply, Dad
Email
Jul 1st 2003 at 09:12:33 PM
KristyBass
West Haven, Utah
a link from my councilor's website- centerpoint-utah.com
To all you dear people who are suffering with this
horrible thing called a eating disorder,
I have read your messages. And I am deeply sorry that you are suffering. I suffered for 7 years. But that was 7years to long. Three months ago, I got some reel help. I went
inpatient. Even though it was the hardest thing to do, because of it I have recovered and am
slowly regaining all the thing's I lost. I lost my job, my friends, my favorite past time-Dance, the
ability to just walk around the mall and shop. Because I chose to starve myself I lost the thing's I loved. I can not make any one recover or get help, but i can tell you that no matter what kind of eating disorder you have, you are risking your life, and it is
possible to recover. I thought I had to loose weight even though I knew I was thin. But I got to my lowest weight of 81 pounds at 5'4 and 20 years old. How I lived, I do not know. I looked
awful. My eyes were dull and slowley sinking, my ribs were sticking out, and it hurt to
wear a belt because it dug into my fragile bones. I lost what little mussel I had. I couldn't stand or walk for more then a hour with out filling like I was going to fall flat on my face. I lost my friends because they didn't want to watch me die. Even though I said I couldn't die. I was knocking on death's door. Death
luckily didn't answer. All I can say is you all need help if you think you are fine.
If anyone wants to talk fill free to e-mail me. I know how hard it is, and how alone you can fill.
Jun 21st 2003 at 05:04:40 AM
Dania Guerrera
Sydney - Australia
Have been reading and surfin the net
I should be me in this girls shoes - she had everything to live for - not me i am nothing - I'm fat & ugly - she should not have gone - life's not fair.
My prayers are with you & your family darling - one day we might meet up where the stars are shining bright !! if anyone feels like i do or if anyone wants to chat to me pls contact me - would love to hear from you !!
Jun 21st 2003 at 05:02:53 AM
Dania Guerrera
Sydney - Australia
Have been reading and surfin the net
I should be me in this girls shoes - she had everything to live for - not me i am nothing - I'm fat & ugly - she should not have gone - life's not fair.
My prayers are with you & your family darling - one day we might meet up where the stars are shining bright !!
May 8th 2003 at 06:25:24 AM
Samantha
Indianapolis Indiana
I was looking for an anorexic website to do information on
My name is samantha and I am in seventh grade at Perry Meridian Middle School and I am doing a project in science and I got anorexia. I think this website it sweet, and sad. I feel bad for shanda's family and her. I hope you will accept my sympathy. I will visit this site for as long as I can, thank you for letting me have a voive of opinion!
May 6th 2003 at 06:24:20 PM
Lindsay Nicole Payne
West Mansfield Ohio
Anorexic web
I'm a senior at Ridgemont high school in Ridgeway and I picked to do my senior research paper on anorexia and bulimia and I never realized that allot of people deal with it and that you have a great website and that
I'm sorry for your lost. I think that i need to lose weight and but i would never try or become
anorexic. I think what your doing will help others who have a problem.
God bless.
May 6th 2003 at 11:59:13 AM
Michelle
The Midlands, England
A friend showed it to me
I just want to say how beautiful this site is. I have been told I have anorexia/bulimia.
I am still in the "yeah, whatever" stage. I wont believe anyone who tells me that I have an eating disorder but I am getting help. I have consented to go into a special hospital to help me overcome my depression and the eating disorder I am told I have.
Shanda's story, it is so lovely and I now miss her even though I never knew she ever existed before seeing this site.
God bless you all who set up this wonderful site and God bless Shanda
May 2nd 2003 at 08:27:22 PM
Jessica
WI
Looked up Anorexic
I am 14 years old, and my best friend is anorexic
. She's been in a hospital in St.Paul or Minneapolis, MN, I can't remember. She has been there for almost two months, I know that for many that is a very short time. But the worst part was was that we-my friends and I- didn't know what to do so we just watched it happen. When we went swimming, I had to look away because I thought I would be sick she was so skinny, you could see her ribs, and her hip bones, and her diaphragm, it was horrible, i know it probably doesn't sound like much but i had no idea it could be that bad. I was scared, I know many people were worse off, I was 13 and didn't know what was wrong with her. She weighed 100lbs. at 14yrs. and 5'7". Now she's home, but she's not any better. She puts things in her pockets so that she could weigh more when she went to the doctors . My best friends are cutting and scratching themselves, even my anorexic friend is. I will not name any one-even though it would be easier. I don't know what to do
....
I am scared for her and my friends, I don't have any one to talk to....I want her to get better!! If any one wants to email me, I would greatly appreciate it. If you would tell me your story, or help me talk about this Stupid disease, or help me learn more about it and helping my friend. If you have anysuggestions on how to stop my friends from hurting themselves, i would be ever greatful. My email is Lucky_chik@hotmail.com
(I'm srry if i can't spell)
Apr 23rd 2003 at 12:18:58 AM
liz
im 19 years old, and i have been struggling with bulemia/anorexia for almost 4 years now. this site brings me to tears, because i read everyones comments, and so many of these girls are so young. I am currently in recovery, but i am unfortunatly not cured. each day it is harder and harder for me to get better, and i know that there are so many people out there with the same struggle. My only wish would to make all the people with eating disorders better, because sadly, i cant bring back the last 4
years. I missed alot of things, and now, my only hope is to help anyone who needs to talk, i know i could have used this website 4 years ago , maybe i would have thought twice...to everyone out there who is struggling, never give up....
Apr 3rd 2003 at 07:53:12 AM
Melissa
Breaking the Cycle
Overcoming Eating Disorders
MIdwest USA
searching and surfing
Shanda was (is) a very beautiful woman and her story made me cry. I was hard core ana/bulimic (bounced between the two) for seven years and am now pretty much "recovered" and married with a 15 month old and another little boy on the way. I thank God everyday that I was able to find the courage and strength to overcome this thing that could've killed me...and it's my prayer that no one else would have to die from this...because you CAN recover!
May you rest in peace now, Shanda...
Mar 26th 2003 at 09:22:18 AM
Anonymous Surfer
I thought this website was so inspiring and beautiful. god bless.
0
Mar 20th 2003 at 07:22:52 PM
Kimberley
Australia
This is the MOST beautiful site I've ever seen. It made me cry. I'm trying to find some inspiration...some strength....I think I'm heading down the road of an eating disorder. I've been bulimic for a while now, and lately, I've been not eating at all. I'm scaring myself. I am getting help, and I really do want to get better. THere are so many things I want to do with my life...I want to have kids and get married, and be an old lady so I can dye my grey hair purple....seeing that Shanda didn't get to do that makes me so sad, and evokes a feeling in me I've never felt before. It gives me a sense of power, and helplessness at the same time. It gives me a little more strength to fight.
So my fight is for Shanda!!!
I'll do it for her.
Kimxxxx
Mar 15th 2003 at 12:34:52 PM
Traci
California
Anorexic Web
My heart goes out to Shanda's Family. I know eating disorders put families through hell...I am so very sorry for your loss. I wanted to thank you for taking the time and making this web site. I hope that it will help others realize that there is help out there. I myself can say now that I am in recovery from seven years of eating disorder hell. There is hope and there is help. I would have never even thought that life could be so wonderful. Not to say that I don't have bad days, but life is just bad I have thing to look forward to. I can take the good with the bad. I was always searching for something that wasn't there...and now I can truly say that I experience joy within. God Bless everyone.
Mar 12th 2003 at 05:43:25 PM
Desperately Looking for answers
Searching the web
Hi, well, I don't know what to say really... I'm just looking for some ways to help a friend who is, I think, suffering from anorexia. I am 15 years old and I am very afraid for my friend who is 103 pounds and is about 5'5". She is almost 17 and she barely eats. She continues to say she needs to lose weight. Im afraid she is goin overboard. She is always saying she is hungry, but refuses to eat more than crackers and water at lunch. She wont go and talk to anyone about it, because she is afraid they will make her eat. I just feel so helpless in this situation. I want to help her in every way I can, but I dont want to go about it in a way that she will act negatively towards it. There is more to this story... but for now I jus need some advice on what to say, or possibly even do. She worries me.
sincerely,
A Friend Desperately Looking for answers
Mar 5th 2003 at 10:56:53 AM
Alison Lysakowski
Belleville, IL
Search engine
Anorexia and bulimia are SO serious and should be treated at the first sign...before it's too late. You could live your whole life not knowing your best friend goes through it, too...sad.
Feb 28th 2003 at 07:37:08 PM
Lil Jen
My Website
Huh?
Canada
Anorexic Web
I have never been anorexic but I tried to lose weight but I can't I just don't lose weight !I don't even try to.
Feb 23rd 2003 at 12:27:04 PM
Georgia
Shanda's Clouds
Hi Nikki and everyone else who leaves a message for help and no e-mail address. You have to talk to someone as you can not get over Anorexia and Bulimia like you can the Flu. Contact me at my email address if you do not want to talk to you family or friends or spiritual leader. Shanda & I do not want you to DIE.....
Feb 21st 2003 at 05:26:11 PM
Nikki
Ask Jeeves
hi, im 15 and my name is Nikki
Last Year i was bulimic for 4 months, throwing up everything that went in to me, i lost almost 47 pounds, over the summer i gained it al back and then some, i have started throwing up again, i wanna be skinny, but i dont wanna do it like this, please help me, but
don't tell me to tell someone i don't want to tell anyone im to scared
Feb 3rd 2003 at 12:10:29 PM
Kassandra A.
St. Joe/ Dowagiac Michigan
anorexic web
I feel horrible about what has happened. I often worry about whether or not I am thin enough. My friends and family see that I dont eat enough. I feel fat all of the time. My freinds and family say that I am not but how can the mirror lie? When I look in the mirror all I see is fat. I hate myself and feel disgusting. I cant stand to see myself in the mirror. I weigh myself daily and if I gain even a half a pound I will not eat for the next two days. Or until I am below my former weight. I really
don't want to end up like her. I just dont know what to do.
Kassandra
Jan 29th 2003 at 12:21:32 PM
Victoria
Ontario,Canada
Anorexic Web
I find sites like these really work to teach young people to think about the decisions they make. Thank you for making it
Jan 22nd 2003 at 05:12:19 PM
Just another girl ll
Canada
Anorexic Web
'Just another girl'-I know what you're going thorough somewhat. Things are a little different with me, i am somewhat anorexic, or at least i used to be. im not sure if i have gotten over it yet. People tease me about it all the time, and i don't know what to do. My friends at school always comment on me eating, and it makes me not want to eat at all. My best friend was like 'i wrote you a poem' and i thought that was so nice, i opened the piece of paper, and at the top it said "Starve" i was so crushed by it. My brother and sister wont let me live it down either. My brother was throwing food at me saying 'don't eat this you'll get fat' this hurts me so much. people can be so cruel weather you're thin or not. Don't let them get you down please. Its not great to be treated like me, and i know you don't feel great either. The girls that tease you only do it because they have low self esteem they need to do it to make themselves feel better, and the boys well who cares. they're not everything. I bet you're a great person. Sometimes life hurts no matter who you are. Please get better and stay healthy xxx
Jan 21st 2003 at 12:10:39 AM
Jennifer
Rapid City SD
Looked it up from Jarves
I saw a movie on Lifetime about Anorexia and it really scared me to think that there are millions of men and women who have this disorder. I read her story here and it is terribly sad that she passed so young. I wish these young peole and older people with this disorder would realize that they are not fat or ugly, that they are so beautiful inside and out and that there's help before it could be too late. If you read this and you have a disorder, don't be scared to do something about it and GET HELP IMMEDIATELY! It could save you life!You can still be healthy and beautiful and eat. Good Luck to you all. May God help you and bless you.
Jan 20th 2003 at 12:48:33 PM
Emily
England
anorexia web
I came onto this site because i am very worried about my best friend who i believe to have anorexia. This site is very touching and has helped my friend come to terms with her anorexia. She is now gradually getting better. This is a wonderful site and has helped us greatly. Much love and thanks to all who made the effort in making it and to the beautiful woman who the site is dedicated to. x x x
Jan 18th 2003 at 09:28:00 PM
JUST ANOTHER GIRL
OUTSIDE USA
IM CRYING I FEEL SO SAD AND I KNOW IM ALONE ,I'VE BEEN ANOREXIC FOR MORE THAN 5 YRS ,IM 17 ,BUT WHEN ALL STARTED I WAS VERY FAT AND EVERYBODY HATES ME EVEN ME ,GUYS INSULTED ME AND CALLED ME WITH HORRIBLE NAMES ,ONE DAY ONE GIRL TOLD ME ,YOU ARE TOO UGLY ANDO TOO FAT TO LIVE KILL YOURSELF ,AND SHE TOLD IT WHERE EVERYBODY HEARD,I FELT HUMILLATED.
THEREīS NOWAY OUT
I DONīT WANT TO DIE,BUT I DONT WANT TO BE FAT AGAIN, I DON'T WANT TO BE HUMILLATED AGAIN I DONīT WANT ANYBODY SPITTING ON MY FACE. I FEEL DESPERATED.
Jan 15th 2003 at 05:34:42 PM
Anonymous Surfer
How provocatively peachy. Though extremely excruciating.
Jan 12th 2003 at 10:48:16 PM
BRITTANY
KY
ANOREXIC WEB
I have been anorexic for 4 years and I am now 16 and doing extremely well with fighting it. Shanda was so beautiful and if she was alive today I bet she would have been even more beautiful. Because of this site I want to get help and not relapse again. May God be with u all I know Shanda is..
with love to all
Jan 10th 2003 at 10:05:20 PM
Barb Murvihill
Chicago
I'm 32 and have had bulimia/ exercise bulimia since 1986. I was also an athlete. I looked at Shanda's photo's and for a spilt second wished I could be "ana'. Then I'd be REALLY thin. I'm going inpatient soon so I can finally beat this monster. Shanda was lovely. Eating disorders are evil. You are in my prayers. Barb.
Dec 31st 2002 at 09:26:27 AM
BETTY WISEMAN
INDIANA
I WAS HELPING MY DAUGHTER DO A PROJECT FOR SCHOOL
TO THE FAMILY ,
MY PRAYERS ARE DAILY WITH YOU ALWAYS REMEMBER GOD IS ALWAYS IN CONTROL OF GOOD TIMES AND BAD SO WHEN YOU LOOK TO HIM HE'LL HELP YOU GET THROUGHT THIS . MY HEART POURS OUT TO HER FAMILY GOD BLESS YOU ALL . TILL YOU MEET AGAIN GOD BLESS.
Dec 25th 2002 at 08:37:44 AM
Dad
Dear Button: It is another Christmas without your physical presents being near me and oh how all of us do miss not being able to give you a hug and telling you how much we Love You. I can only hope that those who do visit your Clouds realize just how deadly eating disorders are and do get help. Your Spirt lives on honey. I hope to have it set up that your Clouds live on - long after I come to be with you. Love & Miss you dearly, Dad
Dec 21st 2002 at 05:57:18 AM
EDDIE
Pennsylvania
My sister..another Christmas is here without you. Everything is ok here, as you already know I did take everyones advice and went and talked to someone. And to be honest with you...it didn't help! I truly believe that nothing will, if my telephone would ring and I would hear, Hey Eddie..How are you, on the other end I would be doing alot better. But I see you and speak with you everyday and that eases my mind. But like I have said before, people say time heals all wounds, I say ......false.
Love you and miss you so much.
Dec 18th 2002 at 04:58:16 PM
Lisa
Arizona
Link
this is a beautiful site...my heart aches for anyone out there who knows someone with an eating disorder. if you are someone who is struggling, don't let it take your life away from you...I know 2 people that died from an eating disorder, and I myself almost died. don't let this be you. take care of yourself, and don't take what you have for granted, because you never know when everything will change. love yourself for who you are, not what you look like. eating disorders DO NOT discriminate, so be aware. my heart goes out to all of you, and to Shanda's family and friends.
Love,
Lisa
Dec 11th 2002 at 02:25:16 PM
Carolanne
Petawawa, Ont
link
My heart goes out to you.
I was just wondering if I could use parts of this story for my project on anorexia? Its fo rthe awareness and prevention of this awful psychgologial disorder.
THNX
Nov 28th 2002 at 08:22:28 AM
Colleenie
Syracuse NY
Shanda/Georgia
Just wanted to say Happy Thanksgiving to you!! U know this was our
day. LOL We used to go for a Bagel and coffee every T-day morning. Miss Ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!You are still and always will be in my heart and mind!! MUAHS GIRLFRIEND
ABOVE! That is the closest thing to a wolf. .LOL The butterfly is from Kyrsten Love ya
shawanda!
Nov 22nd 2002 at 08:54:56 PM
Georgia Ballem
B.C. Canada
friend told me about it
I think it is vary kind of you to share your sisters tragic story to inspire others to realize you dont have to be thin to fit in, and to just be yourself, i think that you will be able to help many people by warning them about the dangers of e.d. i myself havent had to deal with anyone close who suffers with this horrible disease, i know that horribly enough i myself have thought of it just never followed through (thankfully), but sites like this have made me remind myself that its not what other people think of me but what i think of myself.its so sad that people actually think that they have to care what other people think of them.
God Bless You Shanda,
yours truly Georgia Ballem, 13
Nov 20th 2002 at 05:31:11 PM
Colleenie
Syracuse, NY
Shanda:-)
I am so pleased as to the response from this site. Shanda and I were best friends, and I am so glad her fate may make a difference in someone else's life. Don't stay quiet, if U feel someone you know has this disease put it right out on the table, it can be fatal. I miss yah shawanda Bear!!
Nov 20th 2002 at 09:17:11 AM
The Anorexia Bulimia Net
A website dedication to the prevention, awareness and treatment of eating disorders.
South Carolina
This is a great website....keep up the good work! Shanda's story has touched me deeply, keep maintaining this website as you have.
-The Anorexia Bulimia Net
Nov 17th 2002 at 10:14:56 PM
Denae Doyle
femimage
My heart goes out to you, the parents of Shanda. Thank you for your good work. Having owned and operated a modeling school, I have seen the harm done by the unrealistic expectations the media puts upon all of us to be thin. Keep up your meaningful work.
Blessings,
Denae Doyle-Izett
Nov 17th 2002 at 07:21:29 PM
steffi
Maryland
I was so very touched by this tribute to such a beautiful young lady. I feel such a sense of sadness for the future that Shanda will never have. I have been battling anorexia/bulimia for most of my life and was finally struck by this site. I am of the same age and am thankfully afraid for myself enough to continue my recovery. The most meaning ful thing for me was what was written under her picture from 1998.."I fell-cracked a rib and could not throw up...How I wish that rib never would have healed. I would still be with the ones I love." I am on my second round of broken ribs. I have osteoporosis. The first time a few years ago did nothing to wake me up to the fact that I was becoming brittle, so I continued on with my anorectic rituals. Now here I am again broken and in pain reading this and for the first time I feel like something is reaching out to me. I know I was not in a place before to have these word affect me..but now they resonate in my head and I know that I have found this site at a turning point for me. I am forever greatful to whomever created it, as I feel indebted to you. I know now I might actually have the strength I have been looking for inside.
Nov 17th 2002 at 03:25:42 PM
Emslie
Guelph, Ontario
link
I'm personally trying right now to fight anorexia. I came here to get strength to continue my fight, this is one of the biggest uphill battles I've ever faced.
Nov 13th 2002 at 07:43:01 PM
Claire
Pittsburgh, PA
I looked it up
Hi I'm Claire...And looked up anorexic on google cause I wanted to remind myself of what I shouldn't do. Well I feel very bad after reading her story and I red the whole thing and it was just so sad. I think it is very good that people put reminders like this to other youth and anyother person to remind them that it is true, you can die from it.
Much luv-
Claire
Nov 13th 2002 at 06:16:24 AM
Tammy & Gemma
Chatham, Kent. England.
We had to do research for P.H.S.E at School
We think it is really sad about what has
happened to that girl - she was so pretty.
Everyday we come to school and we all look at pages in magazines and websites about all these
beautiful people that are skinny.
But to be honest, the beauty is on the inside, not the out.
And so what if your fat or skinny, your still beautiful - unless you have a crap personality !!
Love you Loads
Tam & Gemma
Nov 12th 2002 at 11:16:46 AM
Jamie
Kamloops, B.C, Canada
link
i feel so bad for anyone who has to go through this deadly disease. It is a toxic thing to go through. anyone who is ever bulimic or anarexic or is even thinking of becoming should realy read this story it may be the difference between life and death.
best wishes
god bless
jai
Nov 11th 2002 at 06:22:54 PM
Sarah
NV
Everything here is very touching and sad and im
sorry to all of those who have to deal with this problem day by day, but I've definitely
been through the worst of this and i know that's not all because im 16, and i look back just three years ago and think "13 is too young to have to deal with these problems"...yet that was me, and ever since then i've kept it inside, unable to tell a soul. My weight varies, im not what people say i am, people tell me im crazy but how can a mirror lie? please help
me. someone
;
Nov 7th 2002 at 03:22:15 PM
Kayla Kruse
Lanarl, IL
my friend sammy sent me links to sites like this cuz of my eating dis order
Hello~ i am 14 and when i was 13 i weighed 142.8 lbs 5'2 ive alwys been the "Fat one"a dn i decided to change it i just turned 14 the 17th of october and i am now 128lbs i was down to 100 then i stopped and ate agian and now im starting up cuz i am soo fat i cant stop it and i hope that maybe you will watch over me and help me. im sorry you had to die even though i didnt know you i still feel for you...i hope to some day see you in heaven......i hope i dont die of this disease though....im trying to stop but its soo hard.....
with love kayla
Nov 5th 2002 at 08:21:23 AM
Shirl
With Love For My Daughter
Memorial for my beautiful 17 year old daughter
Canada
Link
I lost my beautiful 17 year old daughter Chantel to an eating disorder. Maybe you are with her in heaven. We miss her so much and tried everything to help her. Please don't let this horrible eating disorder monster take your life away. Get help! Talk to someone! Love yourself!
Our life is empty now without our girl.............Hugs, Shirl
;
Nov 2nd 2002 at 06:07:20 PM
amber
CALIFORNIA
HEY EVERYONE! I WAS DOING SOME RESEARCH ON E.D AND I CAME ACROSS THIS WEBSITE... IT MAKES ME HURT WHEN I HEAR STORYS FROM PEOPLE W/ THESE KINDS OF PROBLEMS. IF YOU DO NOT HAVE A PROBLEM YOU SHOULD BE VERY THANKFUL BECAUSE I AM VERY THANKFUL THAT I AM FINE!! GOD BLESS YOU ALL
Oct 30th 2002 at 05:08:26 PM
An Angel
canada
through another angel
i wuz anorexic myself but i
stopped b/c i have seen wut it does to you know i never knew that beautiful young lady that is on this web
site, but for all of you out there that is or is thinking bout bein ana then pleez take into consideration that you can die...ppl have died from this n i may not kno you but me myself wuz bout 1 hour away from death from ana ,so
please don't do it pleez,you shouldn't have to worry bout your weight,
your life is to short to make it shorter!!!
luv ya'll,An Angel
Oct 27th 2002 at 07:15:51 AM
SERENA
TEXAS
I like how the caption for this message is "Last Words". I am a former anorexic. I never thought I would put myself through that again, especially because after recovering I weighed more than I did before I was anorexic. Anyway, I'm thin right now without starving, but I stupidly wonder what it did feel like to be anorexic again. I was depressed, but I felt real. I felt like any positive thought that
occurred in my mind was just a blunt denial to how horrible I am. I want to see what others see; not what I wish to be. I guess anorexia gave me some power. And if I couldn't have anyone actually care for ME, at least I could know that I'm
thinking of me.
I won't become anorexic again. I just wonder, and I could really relate to this website, thank you.
Oct 13th 2002 at 07:08:03 AM
Anna
Sweden
I have been fighting aginst my anorexia for eight yeras, sine the early age of ten. Your clouds made me think twice about giving in...I love to met you in heaven, but not for amny years.
Oct 5th 2002 at 06:45:38 PM
Nicole
a far away and non-knowing friend
NJ
I dont even know what to say... i always say that i am better off dead that alive, being fat (even though people tell me i am crazy)... but they don't see what i see everyday. I now see that i am not. I read her story and its like she is hear with me telling me. I dont want to be gone, just thin, why can't i be pretty and what they all want? to much for a 19 year old to handle...
Oct 2nd 2002 at 10:40:12 AM
Anna & Jackie
Shandas
SORRY
Sep 28th 2002 at 05:58:22 PM
Drew
ChangingLINKS.com
good job on your site!
We link to sites that have new information and entertainment.
Hopefully, we can exchange links!
Please visit http://www.ChangingLINKS.com suggest your link.
Sep 20th 2002 at 05:50:33 PM
tim
Green Bay, Wisconsin
Hey everyone, I was doing some research on E.D... and I came accross this site. It's just incredible how hard it can be for people to fight this. I can't exactly say i know what you guys are going through, but i have had a taste of it through personal experience and through my many friends. I just want you all to know, you arn't alone in this, there are people out there that can, and will help you.
Sep 12th 2002 at 02:45:34 PM
"Irish Amethyst"
ED Hell
My story of struggling with/recovery from an eating disorder
Ireland
I love the music on this site - so sad, but yet, appropriate. I am currently in recovery from an eating disorder (how I hate those words), but do not know whether or not full recovery is possible. I want to fight this, but yet, going back seems so tempting, especially now, when so many painful things are coming up for me - not fun!
Sep 8th 2002 at 03:27:47 AM
Susan
family
West Virginia
Shanda, you were always dear and close to me. I now have a eating disorder, in the last month I have lost 22 pounds. I may only eat a bite of something. I can't eat a whole meal, for I get sick. I never thought I would ever get like this, and now I am getting scared. I pray that God helps me get through this so I can become that healthy person again. I miss you so much
Aug 25th 2002 at 08:27:42 PM
Sarah
hi, i've been struggling with bulimia and anorexia since the end of 8th grade and im going to be a junior this fall. It's very hard to deal with and nobody knows which makes it even harder. You can tell by looking at my wrist i hate life, and i know i have changed..i know i need help, but i dont want it. Someone please, please help me
Aug 21st 2002 at 12:29:18 PM
Leigh
Devon, UK
This story is very touching, but what do you do when you can only either starve or binge and when you feel so fat and unloved that you wish that death would come?
Aug 10th 2002 at 01:29:32 AM
juliet elizabeth
anti anorexia and bulimia
it's all anti anorexia and bulimia...motivation to stop, how to help friends...all put very bluntly
no
i've been battling anorexia for two years now. i was one of those people who went on to anorexicweb.com just for the triggers...i disregarded the messages. i never read any of the text. one day i came to the site and found a link. it was to this website. i clicked it, and thought the music was pretty, so i stayed. when i saw the picture of you in 1995, my heart sunk...such a beautiful woman. when i saw your baby picture, my heart pretty much broke. but when i saw your picture of you as a child, i broke down and cried... you looked so happy, so unaware of what was going to happen to you.
you have shown me what anorexia and bulimia will do. instead of ana killing me, i am killing ana. thank you for sharing your story. thank you so much.
may you rest in peace, shanda. you truly are an angel.
Aug 4th 2002 at 02:52:50 PM
Shannon and Steph
No
ILLINOIS
We think that this is very sad. I don't see how anyone could do that to there body. It leads to a painful and horibble death. I would rather be fat then look like some of these people.
Aug 1st 2002 at 11:09:44 PM
Shantel
I guess you could call me an online friend
the Northwest
Wow ! This site helped me realize how painful ( for you and your loved ones)& deadly anorexia is . R.I.P. Shanda ! We love you ![:)][o:)]
Jul 26th 2002 at 08:52:45 PM
Tiffany
Friend
Australia
You touched me, my story is very similar. I am 29 and have been battling for 13 years with anorexia/bulimia. I have been much better the last 6 months and dont want to die. I have a wonderful partner and family and dont want them to go through what you have. You have planted a piece of her spirit in me. Thank you.
Jul 23rd 2002 at 09:06:49 AM
Dad
Today would have been your 30th Birthday - I just wanted you to know you are truly - truly missed. It rained really hard today Button and I know it was your tears of sorrow for not being here with us all. Also, for Pam - Steve's sister who died a violent death on Saturday - July 20th, her final viewing was today. Your web sites have helped others realize how deadly Eating Disorders are - I can only hope they do get help - so they do not join you and your kitties. I will always - Love and Miss You Deeply - One day we will be together and I will once again be able to hug you - Love Dad
Jul 21st 2002 at 08:54:14 PM
kris
no
ohio
i just want to say im sorry for your loss .. and that this site does help me when things get to where i want to binge and purdge i come here and read this again .. i come here alot.. i hope one day i get better .. i cry everytime i read this ..my deepest sympathy to all the family ..love kris
Jul 14th 2002 at 09:48:37 AM
Barbara
don't have one
don't have one
no
Toronto
Shanda, you are now truly at peace. May God bless you , your family and friends. Your struggle is over... I have had anorexia for 30 years now and amazingly I am still alive after being close to death on so many occassions. I'm so tired of struggling and I don't think I can hold on for much longer. This demon has ruined my life. I have nothing left to live for. I beg all the young girls out there to let go and start living a happy and productive life. There is so much life has to offer that I'll never have the opportunity to experience. My life is over but yours is just beginning. It really isn't worth it. What is inside is truly so much more important than being the thinnest- Embrace life...I beg you.
Jul 11th 2002 at 08:29:16 AM
Genie
Maryland
I just wanted to say that this is a great site and I hope that people will learn from others mistakes. I am grateful to have gotten over my ED and I know that others aren't as lucky as I was. I hope that one day ED's will be obsolete.
Jul 10th 2002 at 08:51:50 PM
Katie
To everyone stuggling with this horrible disease you find hope and happiness in life. Remember we are here for you always.
Jul 10th 2002 at 11:00:13 AM
Pieta
My homepage
No
The Netherlands
Im crying right now after reading your story. I was anorexic and for a short time bulimic, now im sometimes suffering from a binge eating disorder but im mentally practically almost healed. (the binges are just because i cant handle tension)
I think this is a great website and im so glad i found the courage to fight my eating disorder. (eventhough that caused binging)
Please try to make this website well known on the internet: i think this is a great site and others can learn a lot from it!!
*kisses& Pieta
Jul 7th 2002 at 10:52:19 AM
Cassia
neither...
Nottingham , UK
I just want to say how truly touched I am by your clouds..I'm 13 and anorexic, I have been at deaths door, now I'm trying to fight, your story and clouds made me cry..smile..and feel stronger to fight, you are an angel shanda, and I just want to say thankyou so much, I've only been here once, and found this a totally amazing site..you have helped me see how and why I have to fight..even when I'm having a bad day, I need to fight these feelings...I send all my love to your family..love and hugs, Cassia
Jul 4th 2002 at 07:30:50 PM
Bari
Clearwater, FL now living in Houston
Hi Shanda.
Your dad really misses you. Please continue to look after him. I know you will. That's what angels always do. You are doing a wonderful job as his angel.
Jul 4th 2002 at 05:12:04 PM
Dad
Dearest Button: At 9:00 PM tonight - 3 years ago today, was the last time I was able to give you a Hug - A Kiss and tell you I Love You....3 Years have passed and though it is truly hard - I am dealing with your early departure from me and all who Dearly Love you. One day - we will be face to face again and I will again be able to give you a Hug & Kiss and tell you I Love You. Your Clouds - which you have helped me put together have helped many - many people realize just how deadly this Eating Disorder thing truly is. I only wish it was not you these Clouds are about. I know you are finally at Peace and are not suffering daily as you were. That is the only consolation I have. Loving &Missing you Deeply, Dad
Jun 27th 2002 at 05:42:45 PM
Anna C.
Neither
United Kingdom
I am truly touched by Shandas story and sorry that her life was taken at the hands of Anorexia. It is a horrible disease to live with and very hard to overcome. I sometimes find myself stopping and asking ' What am I doing here? Why do I go on ' From reading Shandas story I know that I know that I must go on so that her death will not be in vain. May your story live on in my heart and in the hearts of many others. My love and thoughts are with you.
Jun 21st 2002 at 11:29:38 PM
Rebecca Linde
Salt Lake City, Utah
Wishing you all the best. This disease shouldn't have to run your life. Hope you become happy and accepting of your body. Take care of yourself. It's how healthy your body feels should be important.
Jun 20th 2002 at 08:53:47 PM
Jackie
neither
i once signed your guestbook shanda and family and would like to sign again to say thank you and i still keep you in my heart and
prayers. I'm dealing with my ed anorexia and finally ready to go to meetings and take care of
myself. Even though I'm saddened by this site that shanda had to leave you and how heartbreaking it must be know that she still goes on in your hearts and memories.
Jun 17th 2002 at 07:43:00 PM
Justine
a friend in heart
Canada
I am so very truly touched by this amazingly loving story. Although i have never met Shanda or any family members but i will always remember this story in my heart and i place Shanda in part of my heart so i can think of her saddening struggle. I love Shanda and her friends and family, and may Shandas family and friends live with wonderful memories.
Jun 13th 2002 at 12:31:58 PM
Megan
No
Minnesota
I really really am touched by this site. I am saddened that she had to suffer and now the family is suffering from the horrible disease known as anorexia. I am not anorexic but I have a male friend who is and I was researching the disorder and came across this page. GOD BLESS you and STAY STRONG!
Jun 12th 2002 at 03:03:47 AM
rrosalia
il mondo pesante by rrosalia
a site about the eating disorders, recovery and hope.
italy / argent.
the way her memories and hopes are here is beautiful.
i notice most ED pasges are just dark and inviting .. this one gives peace, hope... and incredible how many people have already met her since she isn't here. i wish there were more dreams, poems and thoughts of her here.
Jun 10th 2002 at 04:13:19 PM
teri
texas
Shanda ,you are in a better place now ,no more
suffering, no more pain, no more struggling. you are so greatful to have a loving family and
friends. may god bless you, your family & friends. I too am a suffer for several years now.thank you for the touching story.
Jun 10th 2002 at 03:26:33 PM
Cally
California
This is a very touching site. I do not have an eating disorder but I am doing a project at school and I came to your website. I love the music and the clouds-it basically all showed me how an eating disorder can affect a
life thanks so much.Shanda truly is an angel.
Jun 6th 2002 at 09:01:58 AM
Eve
Finland
this was a very touching site. I feel so sorry that Shanda's life had to end this way. I know myself what is "a life" battling with anorexia. Ed's can't make any of us happy!I hope that we all would understand it and that we would get help before it's too late. but don't ever think it's too late. get help today, you can't know about tomorrow. God bless you all!
Jun 3rd 2002 at 07:27:58 PM
Allison
Connecticut
Whoever made this website for you loves you very much.
I hope you're okay now. I hope no more web sites like this will have to be made.
May 21st 2002 at 06:28:38 PM
melissa anna utz
none just a person who's had anorexia
Queensland
i want to say that i know what they are going through and if you need to talk call 0402295276
c-ya
May 20th 2002 at 03:14:16 PM
Seana Marie Laurie
not sure
not sure
Visitor
Bethel V.T.
I want to thank so much for posting this sight. I have been battling anorexia/bulimia for years and I am just beginning the recovery process and it is so hard. This sight is vey helpful to me. I have been in numerous hospitals and many ICU's and it is sights like these and friends and family that help me the most. My moms been battling anorexia for years and she is now dying of it maybe this sight will help thank you so very much. Even if it does not help my mom it has helped me and it will help many others. I am going to dedicate my life to helping people with eating disorders. I am going to college to study psychology and hopefully will become an eating disorders councilor. This sight has helped me to go for my goal. Becoming a councilor will be great because It will help me in my life long recovery process. Thanks again.
May 15th 2002 at 04:57:48 PM
Dana
no
Sonoma, A
Hi I am Dana and i came here looking for help and to learn about people how
have the something i have. For me this web page meant a lot to me
because I'm Anorexic and i need help! i felt the same way thati look really fat and thanks to
Shanda's story i have come to get help! Im 15 5'5 and im only 98 pounds
well i just wanted to say thanks
Love always
Dana
May 14th 2002 at 03:44:07 PM
Elizabeth
Florida
Hi, my name is Elizabeth and I am 14 years old. I do not have an eating disorder but I'm doing a very important paper for one of my classes. This site has really touched my heart. Even though we never met I knew you must have been a great person. Your family is in my prayers. If anyone with an eating disorder nneds to talk please feel free to e-mail me
May 12th 2002 at 01:39:06 AM
Jessika
My avon site
Nope
Missouri
I feel her pain as I'm typing this letter. I know anorexia and her sister bulimia oh too well. I've been dealing with them for 8 years and within the past year, I've been going back into being bulimic. Shanda was a beautiful person and will be missed by those who love her. Shanda,
even though we never met, I feel a connection to you. You will be in my heart always and forever.
Jessika
May 9th 2002 at 04:53:18 PM
Sara
San Francisco, CA
I must have read this site over and over again. It is very sad what happened to Shanda, i'm sure her smiles could have lit up even the darkest room...her laughter incredible, and her loving heart must have been touching. I have been struggling with anorexia for only a year. But the terrible effects have taken place. I weigh 87lbs and have been hospitalized four times. I am finding it hard to cope with this illness, and obviously Shanda did as well. I hope that Shanda is in a happy place, where she can escape from the horrible illness.
May 8th 2002 at 08:12:50 AM
Mimi
New York
Hi my name is Mimi and I am 21. I have had anorexia for 8 years now. I am searching in hopes of friend who we can exchange emails to help me. I have messed my whole life up by thinking I was fat. I am now 100 lbs. I used to be only 68, I have never been over 107. I was doing fine for about 6 months now I starting to struggle again. I shouldn't be posting this here but I figure someone who reviews this page will be a friend an drop me a email to help me I am desperate.
I am sorry for the loss of Shanda and my prayers are with her family and friends. The is a very GREAt site and I will view it over and over again in hopes to get my life on track for good.
May 2nd 2002 at 05:35:32 PM
Sal
NY
"When I Must Leave You"
When i must leave you for a little while. Please do not grieve and shed wild tears, And hug your sorrow to you through the years. But start out bravely with a gallant smile;
And for my sake and in my name live on and do all things the same, Feed not your loneliness on empty days, But fill each waking hour in useful ways.
Reach out your hand in comfort and in cheer. And I in turn will comfort you and hold you near;
And never, never be afraid to die. For I am waiting for you in the sky!
May 2nd 2002 at 05:23:43 PM
COLLEENIE
BEST FRIEND
Syracuse
WOW..this site is really come alive. I like to see that, hopefully Shanda's story will help all of you too. She was all about helping people!! Miss Ya girl!! Love ya!!!
May 1st 2002 at 04:58:26 PM
Danielle
Mass
This is truly a wonderful site.Help is out there, I was bulimic/anorexic for 4 years, I got help from family and a wonderful councler. Now I am going to be a mommy..my dream come true. I never would have been able to have children if I didn't get help. If someone bugs you about having a disorder, listen to them, they love you.
Apr 30th 2002 at 08:03:35 PM
Missy
my homepage my ed
this is my life in a nutshell
a friend that should have been
Georgia
I am 28yrs. old. I have battled anorexia nervosa for 11yrs. now. It is,for me, too late. However, Shanda's site is truley an inspiration and in some strange way... like a mirror of my own life. Although I did not know her... somehow.. we share a common link. Your love for her is profound. No one could have been blessed with a more loving family than Shanda was. God bless you all.
/missy/
Apr 28th 2002 at 12:22:55 PM
Laura
friend
Pennsylvania, USA
Help. I am looking for thoughts and opinions of "recovering" anorexic women or men (or the families of) about what role the advertising industry has in contributing to E.D.'s. I am writing a short research paper and possibly may quote you. My childhood friend suffered horribly from anorexia and is forever changed as a result, both physically and mentally. I have a 12 year old girl who sees her abs as "too fat" and pray I can help her past the peer pressure years. Take Care.
Apr 28th 2002 at 03:55:40 AM
Kate
devilish 21
Melbourne, Australia
Shanda was a beautiful person and i wish her family all the best. i
don't have an eating disorder but im doing a school project on anorexia. i will meation Shanda and this website in hope it brings more people to it and make them
realize what shanda and many others have gone through.
All the best with love... Kate
Apr 26th 2002 at 05:25:33 PM
Julie
Just my space on the web
no
Louisiana, USA
I am very touched at your site and your story. It's good b/c it reminds people of what joys in life an Eating disorder robs them of. I'm very sorry for your loss. I hope this site changes the minds of those who want to continue this destructive path.
Apr 23rd 2002 at 02:21:20 PM
Jackie
Neither
I'm touched by Shanda's story and i will always remember her as i am struggling with an eating disorder (anorexia) myself. I just found out i have an ed so i've been trying to find stories to help me. Even though it's hard at times and family and friends want nothing more than your happiness and health i'm just taking all this in right now. it's a beautiful wed site and i'll have shanda and her family in my prayers.
Apr 22nd 2002 at 04:30:03 PM
Nikki
no
hello, I'm so very very sorry for your loss. it is devestating reading everything. every time i read something written by 'Dad' it made me burst into tears because my father also calls me 'Button'. it is really an eyeopener because these things do happen and everybody thinks that it can't happen to them or the people that they love, well it can, and it does. thank you so much for having this page, it is an inspiration to get better. thanks.
Apr 21st 2002 at 07:31:41 PM
Kristina
Kristina's Page
About me, small section on eating disorders
no
Texas
I am suffering from anorexia/bulimia, and all I can do is pray for everyone out there who is going through the same thing. Although I don't know her, Shanda will always be in my heart. Her story has touched me, and given me the will to get better again.
Apr 20th 2002 at 06:08:20 AM
mikaela aileen shafer
just a visitor
georgia
i just wanted to say that i have an ad and was draw to this page because my middle name is aileen and my last name is shafer. i dunno anyway it was nice peace
Apr 18th 2002 at 10:25:36 AM
Lyndsey
No
Emmett Idaho
I would like to say that I have all my thoughts and prayers with the families of those who have lost a family member to anorexia. I'm doing a research paper for school and I have come to find out a lot of devastating facts to this horrible disease. I am 14 and I have had the peer pressure of being too thin but I always remember that my body is mine and to cherish. I just want to thank whoever posted this web site because it opened my eyes to a lot more than I expected. God Bless!
Apr 17th 2002 at 10:45:57 AM
kate
no
Sydney Australia
I'm 52 and had anorexia when I was 20, although I'd never heard of it then. All my life I've dieted on and off but thankfully never suffered serious side effects. Now that I'm middle-aged I've realised that what other people say or think is not my problem and I now like myself enough to eat what I want.
Apr 17th 2002 at 05:50:34 AM
Sally
Nope
England
Thank you. After suffering from anorexia for 12 years, I am finally finding the will to recover.
Apr 16th 2002 at 12:15:50 PM
Kirstin
nope
Kansas
It is too bad that even though stories like this doesn't open peoples eyes. A family friend of mine came close to dying also after struggling with the disease. She weighed only 85 pounds her senior year of highschool and finally after about four years of living with the disease she finally got it together and got help. This site is an eye-opener and I wish the best to everyone. No matter what people like you for who you are and not what you look like remember this always.
Apr 13th 2002 at 09:24:34 AM
Alicia L.
no
Cincinnati, Ohio
I am always talking about how fat I am. Because sometimes I do feel very fat and I always want to be smaller. But when I really think about it I realize that I am not fat and I should be very happy with my body but I 'm not. When I heard the music I busted out in tears. What these people go through is so sad to me. I'm somewhat ashamed for always critisizing myself. I am sorry for your loss you have had. I know she watches over you from the clouds everyday.
-Alicia-
Apr 12th 2002 at 07:39:32 AM
amanda abbott
no
indiana
I was looking on the web for stuff on eating disorders for a class project.. and I seen this site.. I am so sorry for the death of her.. I bet she was a good person to be around.. I bet she was probley loving and careing. It is sad something like this took her life.. I just wanted to say the poems was great and once again I am sorry.
Apr 10th 2002 at 11:37:18 PM
crystal
no
Georgia
hello,
im 17 and well
I am not sure if i have an eating disorder because i eat but i hate it. i was
recently diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder. I started puberty earlier then everyone else and i gained a lot of weight. so when i went into middle school i tried to fit in but was shot down because i didnt dress right and was heavier then everyone else so i started skipping
breakfast and lunch. but i ate dinner but not much well over the summer i lost a lot of weight before when i was chunkier
everyone made fun of me my brother kids at school and my grandparents I
don't think they meant to hurt me but they did. so i lost the weight and eventually stopped eating all together. i had to be thin i need to be thin. so anyways after i lost enough weight i went form a size 12 to a size 2 so i started to eat again. well this was towards the end of 7th grade well in eighth grade i gained the weight again so i started exercising frequently and eating less no breakfast no
lunch just a light dinner. well i lost weight but got fat again in the summer and everyone knows that the worse thing to do is it be a fat freshman. well i was and to top it off i cut my long beautiful hair and i had a skinny blonde best friend who constantly made me feel like crap because she was skinny what all the guys wanted and i
wasn't. so i ate more and more and was back up to a size 12 again. well
I transferred schools to get away form it all it didnt help i mean my
ego had been crushed so much and so many people had called me fat and ugly thats all i could believe. well summer of 10th grade i lost all the weight and kept it off i got back down to a size 5 well its my junior year and im not in school because i cant go i gained my weight back and can barely fit into my cloths and i hate it. the doctor said i have an
obsessive compulsive im obsessed about looking perfect it takes me two to three hours to get redy in the
morning and if i don't meet my standard of perfect i have a panic attack. help
Apr 9th 2002 at 07:31:44 AM
Bari
Clearwater, living in Houston
So sorry to hear about your loss. I'm sure Shanda is very happy to see so many responses to her......in the clouds.
Apr 6th 2002 at 01:04:00 PM
Linzi
Scotland
I just want to say thank you.I've suffered with an e.d since I was 13,I'm now 16, I know I'm not ready to ask for help yet but there's a little voice inside that's telling me to fight to get better & with help from sites like yours I've been able to eat properly for the last 3 days, I know it's not much but it's progress, and with sites like this I'll hopefully drown out the ana voice. So once again I just want to say thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for making this site
Apr 5th 2002 at 01:31:11 PM
marley
i was looking for something. i don't know what. i just found myself flipping through theses sites trying to find help. or trying to get worse. I have an E.D. i was classified as having EDNOS. after reading your site, i want to try and get help, but this time I'm serious about it. although i go to a clinic once or twice a week, i was never quiet as serious about recovery as I am right now. thank you very much for showing me how sick i really am. thank you! and I am so sorry for your loss. i think its a wonderful thing making this site in someone's memory. thanks~
Apr 5th 2002 at 01:50:37 AM
meagan
Canada
I am looking up these websites because I am not ready to ask for help yet. I need to find others who have asked for help and are recovering or have recovered. It terrifies me to see the stories about sufferers who have died, and it makes me want to get better. I think I have a long way to go before I will be able to face this and ask for help, I need to want to get better first. Right now I want to get better but I still am terrified of not having this one thing to hold on to and control, I feel like I have a special power over everyone else who eats. But every day is a step towards getting better, and sites like this help so much.
Apr 2nd 2002 at 06:52:39 AM
meg
no
i don't know what to say except.. this is so beautiful. it made me cry. i am suffering from an eating disorder and trying to get help for it now... but it seems like i will never get better. now i know that i need to keep trying... for everyone who would miss me and for angels like Shanda.
much love to you and your family, and thank you
Apr 2nd 2002 at 04:16:30 AM
louise
what a hard hitting emotional site it made me cry
Mar 31st 2002 at 06:00:51 PM
Laura
St. Louis
It brings me to tears that this could be anyone of us that are in the battle today.... I myself have been battling for over 11 yrs now, and it is hard to just let go of it... I pray that there is peace in all of your hearts knowing that your daughter/friend/niece.... is now in heaven and at peace from the evil
controlling disease!! It's scarey and sick to think there are people out there who support and want to be in the continual battle and desire to live a life with this monster! I myself do not wish that upon anyone!!!!
I thank you for letting others know that there are final risks from these choices and we all need to be more aware before it is to late!! God bless you and thank you so much for opening up your hearts to the world! You have a Beautiful Daughter no matter where she is today!!! Always in other hearts and on our minds of course!!
God Bless
Mar 30th 2002 at 12:44:10 PM
Colleenie
Best Friend
Syracuse, NY
Wow..this is really making a difference. Very, very cool!!!! Well, Shanda still miss ya!!! Almost 3 years..cannot believe it. Time has healed, but U are ALWAYS in my heart especially dealing with things Aunt Shawanda used to help me with.. boy could I use U now!!! If U only knew!!!! Then again I am sure U do know..and U will guide me in the right direction. Kinda cool having a "young" Guardian Angel. Luv Ya!!
MMMMMMMUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!:-)
Mar 28th 2002 at 11:04:42 PM
Lisa Arndt, M.A.
Anorexic Web
Hard-hitting eating disorder recovery site
no, but I feel connected
the crazy Los Angeles, California
WOW. I am stunned by the honesty, integrity and humanity of this site. I am literally lost for words! It is deeply moving. Thank you for doing this. Really.
With your blessing, I will show this site to the teenage girls and boys with eating disorders that I work with everyday...
Merry Meet & Blessed Be,
Lisa
:-L
Feb 3rd 2002 at 06:55:56 PM
Jennifer
Wyandotte, MI
Just dropping in. Please keep me in your prayers as I do keep all of you in mine.
Take care
Sep 19th 2001 at 07:29:38 AM
Lenzi
1 year olds
a community for mom's with kids of all ages! It is a blast!!
Found this page from the web-ring.
Kansas City
you did an awesome job on this webpage for your daughter! Outstanding job! I was in tears! God bless you and your family! She was very beautiful!!!
Aug 18th 2001 at 09:03:33 PM
Jennifer
Wyandotte, Michigan
I was just thinking of all of you today, so i thought I would stop in and visit and rest a little.
Aug 13th 2001 at 12:25:43 PM
Karen Betty
Friend of Georgia
Jerome, Idaho
This a a truly beautiful site. May all who knew Shanda be eased to know what a wonderful person she must have been to create such beauty as is found here.
Aug 10th 2001 at 08:44:14 AM
Colleenie
friend
Syracuse
Hi:-) Yes...your still missed...
Jul 23rd 2001 at 10:12:37 AM
Dad
Dear Button: Today would have been your 29th Birthday. You are always in my thoughts. I just wanted you to know I am finally getting on with my life. Until I have the chance to Hug you in person, Love Dad
Jul 5th 2001 at 07:49:42 PM
Dad
Dear Button: It was 2 years tonight - that I learned you had passed over. Deep inside I know you are at Peace and I also know one day I will be able to give you a big Hug again. It is hard - but I will keep - keeping on. Always will Love You Dearly - Little One...Miss You Bunches,
Dad
Jun 24th 2001 at 07:56:14 PM
Nancy (bratt)
Nancy(bratt)'s Home
My fight with Anorexia and Bulimia
friend
Washington
God bless you in all that you do. By having this site up, you show what a beautiful person your daughter was. And you show the realities that are eating disorder. So, for someone who is struggling every moment to survive, I want to say thank you. I admire you for being so strong to help people like me. You are an angel in my eyes
Nancy
Jun 13th 2001 at 08:17:26 PM
Jennifer
Michigan
This website gets more beautiful every time I check in. Thank you for sharing Shanda's story and for helping out other people. Keeping you all in my prayers always.
Jun 10th 2001 at 03:58:43 PM
Marc
Netherlands
Sorry about Shanda, surely she was a beautiful person.
My wife has anorexia (for over 15 years) she's stll a live , but she's an Angel to.
After all therapies she had ,she refuses to search for further help. Her weight is 42 Kg going up and down.
The only thing I can do is hope that I can keep her a long time before she dies.
For all the people who reed this, and having an eating disorder:
The outside is very import and, but the inside counts.
Think about the people who suffer with your problems, and try to find help.
May 22nd 2001 at 10:55:57 PM
beth
friend from the country skillet restaurant in Clearwater, Florida
Clearwater, Florida
What a beautiful web page. Georgia you have out done yourself for your beautiful daughter!!
this is a great page, the pictures are wonderful. please keep updating this web page as I come back often to visit....I know that your Angel is looking down at you and all who knew her and she is is a most peaceful place now...God bless and take care.....
Beth
Feb 3rd 2001 at 12:23:36 PM
Jennifer
just me
Michigan
Thank you for doing this webite. I have added it to my favorites and will check back. I am so very sorry for your loss.
Oct 20th 2000 at 06:12:10 AM
Theresa Santiago
Big Sister
Clearwater, Fl.
Dearest Shanda,
The pain will never go away. Now I have 2 favorite siblings up there in heaven. When
you're little, you think that nothing bad ever happens. When I was 9,my best friend
Diane, and her little sister Tammy died in a trailer fire. It took months for me to finally realize that all the prayers in the world would not bring my dear friend
back. Say hi to Diane, Tammy, and my little brother Art for me. Give them a big hug for
me. It may be a while before I see you all you again. For you,it will be a blink of an
eye. I'm going to send the Phantom of the Opera masks up to your mother. I'm sure she would like that.
I miss you all and can't wait to see you again. Then maybe my heart won't hurt so much.
I love you,
Your Big Sister
Sep 24th 2000 at 09:39:02 PM
Theresa Santiago
Big Sister
Clearwater Fl.
Dearest Sister, Celebrated my 36th. B-Dat today. I was a little angry that you weren't here to celebrate it with me. I know that you are here with me in spirit.It doesn't make me feel any better! The pain is still as fresh as it was the day you passed away. I still believe there was more I could have done; even though I'm not sure what that might have been. I just wish that I could have a another chance to be a better big sister to you. On a happier note, you have a grandniece named Kristylin Audrey Foulk. She was born on Aug.3,2000. Also, your niece said that she wished she could have had a chance to get to know you. She's sure she would have loved you very much!!! I could wish she could have had that chance too!!!!!!! Well have to go now. See you one day soon. Lots of love, Theresa Your Big Sister Always
Jul 23rd 2000 at 07:48:46 PM
Eddie
Brother
Pennsylvania
I heard you call out my name, I was just putting the key into the door of the house after work, and I heard you call out my name, I feel that it was you for you are the only person who called me Eddie, everyone else calls me Ed,
that's how I always knew that was you on the other end of the phone line " Hello Eddie". Shanda, I really wish that I could turn back the clock, things would have been so different, no one would have ever hurt you. I miss you so so much, I cannot describe the pain that I feel everyday. You were one of the only people in this world that really understood me. I love and miss you very much.
Jul 4th 2000 at 09:09:49 AM
Dad
Hi Button: At 9 PM this day - 1 year ago today - was the last time I held you in my arms. I still see the strange look upon you face as you said, "Well, I am off - I Love!" Little did I know how far away off would be. Some day I hope to learn - why you would not accept - the help all who Love You wish you did accept. Knowing you are at Peace - Little One, is the only thing that keeps me going on. One Day - I too will be off ~and I know our paths will cross in the Peaceful World where your Beautiful Spirit now rests. Until then, remember Always, You are Missed & still Loved Dearly, Dad
Jul 1st 2000 at 09:10:42 PM
Colleenie
friend
Syracuse
It's going to be a tough week for everyone. You are in all of our thoughts, and I am sure I speak for
everyone. Miss you!!!!!!!!!!
Jun 10th 2000 at 07:14:26 PM
Dad
Hi Button: Just to let everyone know, Jessica is doing fine and her daughter is due to come into this world on - about July 21st, that's just 2 days before you brightened this world. Will be back out to do some more work on your clouds, have any ideas just let me know, as you always do.
Love & Miss You, Dad
Jun 8th 2000 at 03:57:47 AM
Theresa Santiago
Big sister
Clearwater , Fl.
Nice job Dad! Shanda I miss you more than words can express! I do enjoy the visits we have in my dreams. I think about you all the time. Not a day goes by that I wish I had done something to make you realize how serious your problem
was. You would get so angry with me. To others out there with this disorder, get help now. Before it's too late. Remember, God looks on the inside, at our hearts. Unfortunately, man looks on the outside. See you in my dreams!!!
Lots of Love,
Your Big Sister,
Theresa
Jun 3rd 2000 at 07:43:37 AM
Tracy
Family and Friend
West Virginia
Hi Shanda! Tracy again, Eddie's sister-in-law, although, feel more like real sister when it comes to Ed. I wanted to let you know Eddie is doing well, I keep my eye on him for you, he's such a sweetie, I saw Precious last week, she's fine too and sends her love. Take care!
May 29th 2000 at 11:57:00 AM
Dad
Hi Button: As every day - I especially missed you yesterday as you were here for my birthday last year.. Still have your card on the frig.. Will be back out to work with you on your clouds. Love You - Dad
May 26th 2000 at 07:22:00 PM
Colleenie
friend
Syracuse
Just a little hello, and you are in our thoughts everyday!!! Take care of Cosmo up there K?
May 22nd 2000 at 11:49:38 AM
Nancy Heckman
friend
Beloit, Ohio
A beautiful site and you are such a beautiful angel.
May 18th 2000 at 06:38:52 PM
EDDIE
BROTHER
PA
Sometimes when I'm alone I cry.
I cry because my heart is torn, and it will never mend,... and sometimes I find it very difficult to carry on. If it wasn't for Rhonda and family I don't think I could. I just want you to know, how much I love and miss you.
May 12th 2000 at 02:41:56 PM
Colleenie
Friend
NY
The site looks great! That is the picture of the Shanda I knew and loved. You will always be in my heart.:)
May 10th 2000 at 10:43:19 AM
Dad
Hi: This is May 10th and we are working on the site. So if you have problems with it, please use Dads' e-mail address to express your frustrations.:-) Also, if you have any suggestions, either leave them out here in the guest book [I like to read them] or send them directly to my Dad. Either way - your voice will be heard. Thanks
May 4th 2000 at 10:29:27 AM
Lisa - Dr. Cooley's office
friend
rock hill, sc
This website is filled with so much love from your family.
Apr 29th 2000 at 11:33:54 AM
Dad
Just wanted to say I Love You - though I know you know it and are near me and everyone Always.
The drought we are having is taking it's toll on the flowers. Doing my best to keep them alive. Could use some rain if you could send us some.
Will be back out here tonight to add some more photo's.
Ps: We really need the rain :-)
Apr 20th 2000 at 06:19:23 AM
TRACY KIMBLE
FAMILY/ BEEN FRIEND IF I HAD MORE TIME TO GET TO KNOW YOU
WEST VIRGINIA
YOU PROBABLY DON'T REMEMBER ME SHANDA, I THINK WE ONLY GOT TO MEET ONE TIME WHICH WAS AT THE WEDDING OF YOUR BROTHER, ED, AND MY SISTER, RHONDA. I GUESS YOU COULD SAY THAT THEIR WEDDING RESULTED IN YOU AND I BECOMING "FAMILY".
Apr 18th 2000 at 12:08:05 PM
cliff
friend
waffle house
i likes this .it is nice.i am glad i was showed this site.see ya for coffee. have missed u
Apr 17th 2000 at 11:16:13 PM
Sandy Clayton
friend
Clearwater /waffle house
I believe in angel. and they are beautiful. my dad and grannma are up there with u.love you and dad,s website .very beautiful.
Apr 15th 2000 at 09:42:34 PM
Dad
Hi Button: Got the new flowers planted and with your help they will grow - even though there is a drought going on here. Will be back out soon to add some more photo's..
Love - Dad
Jan 23rd 2000 at 04:48:07 PM
Colleen
I would say both:)
Syracuse
Well we missed you for my birthday. This was the first one you have missed in about 7 years. You were with us in heart and mind!! By the way next year you have to help those Vikings out. Ha-Ha! Miss ya' Shawanda!!!!!
Jan 15th 2000 at 09:10:31 AM
EDDIE
Brother
Pennsylvania
The Holidays have come and gone, and things have not been any easier, I have come to realize that they never will. Some people have said with time it will get easier, but I know that is not true. Everyone had a very very rough time with the holidays, I could see it in everyone's eyes. I found myself looking at the picture of you and I and Papap when we were very little, and wondering why, why didn't I help you more. I am sorry. I love and miss you so much. Please know that!
Dec 25th 1999 at 06:32:44 PM
Dad
This is my first holiday season, in 27 years, without your bubbling voice and cute smile ~ which I dearly miss. I know you are in a Far Greater place than I am and know deep inside we will see each other again. Until then, I will keep trying to add more to your Clouds for others to see. Maybe one that visits, who has the same disease as you did, will get some help. Love & MIss you DEARLY ~
Dad
Dec 4th 1999 at 09:09:08 AM
Eddie
Brother
Pennsylvania
My little sister, you are so sadly missed...no one can imagine the pain that I have in my
heart,. a pain I know will never go away.
I wake up every morning and wish that I could turn back time, or that all of this has just been a very sad dream.
My life will never be the same without my little sister.
Someday we will see each other again, but for now, please know that I think of you everyday.
I love you little sister.
Oct 11th 1999 at 02:52:41 PM
Pervez Shaikh & Family
Both Family and Friend
Pakistan
Dear Shanda: Till today it is hard for me to believe that I attended your funeral and was on your gravesite. Every time I think of you is when I met you for the first time in Auburn, NY. You graced my home in Stephens City, VA with a brief stopover once. Our meetings have been short and occasional but the pain of knowing that you are no longer here is everlasting.
Oct 10th 1999 at 03:31:46 PM
Kyrsten Padula
"family"
Syracuse
I love you very much and miss you aunt Shanda! You always got me cool stuff, and always gave me support in everything I did! Thank you for being my guardian angel. Aunt Shanda I took 3rd place in our regional cheerleading competition today!!!
Oct 10th 1999 at 03:28:49 PM
Colleen Padula
Best Friend
Syracuse N.Y.
The years we had together bring many great memories for my and my 2 kids. She was my best friend and will always and forever be a part of my heart! I love you Shanda!!
Visitors since Oct 10,
1999